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The Following Stories,
Lists, & Jokes
Were Sent To Me
By My Friend
Since High School

MIKE VOZZELLI

Please Enjoy!

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LOOKS GOOD
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(Mike's Place)

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Thought you might enjoy the following true story.
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When Apollo Mission Astronaut Neil Armstrong first walked on the moon, he not only gave his famous one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind statement, but followed it by several remarks.
Usual com traffic between him, the other astronauts and Mission Control.

Just before he re-entered the lander, however, he made the enigmatic remark,

"Good luck > Mr Gorsky".

Many people at NASA thought it was a casual remark concerning some rival Soviet Cosmonanut. However, upon checking, there was no Gorsky in either the Russian or American space programs.

Over the years many people questioned Armstrong as to what the Good Luck Mr. Gorsky statement meant, but Armstrong always just smiled.

A Few years ago, (on July 5,1995 in Tampa Bay FL) while answering questions following a speech, a reporter brought up the 26 year old question to Armstrong. This time he finally responded.

Mr Gorsky had finally died and so Neil Armstrong felt he could answer the question.

When he was a kid, he was playing baseball with a friend in the backyard.

His friend hit a fly ball which landed in the front of his neighbors pick up.

When he went to retrieve the ball, young Armstrong heard Mrs Gorsky shouting
at Mr. Gorsky

"Oral sex!

You want ORAL sex?

You'll get oral sex
when the kid next door
walks on the moon!"

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Here is something I bet you hadn't thought would be an issue for Y2K.

You won't be able to use the programmed recording feature on your VCR!

Don't throw away your VCR in the year 2000.

Set it on 1972 because the days will be the same.

Pass this on because you know the manufacturer will not share this information. They will want you to buy a new one that is Y2K compliant.

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The Bands:

BAND-OGRAPHY

J.S.Jenks Orchestra
Roosevelt Jr. High Orchestra
Germantown High Orchestra
USS Independence Ship's Band
The Chancellors
The Electrons
The Gina & Bobby Show
Jeanne & The Entertainers
Gary Mobus - Tiro
Redwood Company
Loose Change
The Chambers Brothers
All Ahead Full
Mass Transit
John Thomas Trio
Leah McCoy Show

990423

HEAVEN or HELL?
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Bill Gates dies in a car accident.

He finds himself being sized up by God....

"Well, Bill, I'm really confused on this call.
I'm not sure whether to send you to Heaven or Hell.

After all, you helped society enormously by putting a computer in almost every home in America,
yet you also created Windows '95.

I'm going to do something I've never done before.
In your case, I'm going to let you decide where you want to go."

"Well, what's the difference between the two?" Bill asks.

God says,
"I'm willing to let you visit both places briefly,
if it will help your decision."

"Fine, but where should I go first?"

"I'll leave that up to you."

"Okay, then," says Bill. "Let me try Hell first."

So Bill goes to Hell.
It's a beautiful, clean, sandy beach with clear waters and lots of beautiful women running around, playing in the water, laughing and frolicking about. The sun is shining, the temperature is perfect.

He is very pleased. "This is great!" he tells God. "If this is Hell, I REALLY want to see Heaven!"

"Fine," says God, and off they go.

Heaven is a place high in the clouds, with angels drifting about,
playing harps and singing.

It's nice, but not as enticing as Hell. Bill thinks for a quick minute and decides. "Hmm. I think I'd prefer Hell," he tells God.

"Fine," replies God. "As you desire."

So Bill Gates goes to Hell.

Two weeks later,

God decides to check on the late billionaire to see how he is doing in Hell.

When he gets there, he finds Bill shackled to a wall,
screaming amidst hot flames in a dark cave,
being burned and tortured by demons.

"How's everything going?" he asks Bill.

Bill responds, his voice filled with anguish and disappointment,

"This is awful!

This is nothing like the Hell I visited two weeks ago!

I can't believe this is happening!

What happened to that other place, with the beaches
and the beautiful women playing in the water?"

"Oh ...

that was the SCREENSAVER."


To Contact Me

email gif gfetherman@bigfoot.com

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Anyone out there with information on any of my subject matter,
feel free to send me additions and / or corrections.
The memory isn't what it used to be.
(If it ever was.)

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